Hello friends and family,
It’s been a long time since I’ve written so I thought I’d write today. August was a really crazy month. I have been collaborating with Eric Byrd on music for four of my songs. Then, I thought I was ready to record but had a couple monkey wrenches thrown into my plans! For one, without going into any detail, there was a lot of drama and what seemed like opposition to me throughout the whole music making process. Also, as many of you know, I had a couple of scares with my baby (I’m 13 weeks pregnant) that brought me to the hospital twice so far. But there’s been a lot of prayer and support, and right now, the doctor/nurses are saying that baby looks great, has a strong heart rate and movement, and is a good size for how far along he/she is. I’m believing and hoping for the best. It’s quite possible that the stress of trying to orchestrate everything with the music and get it done while I’m pregnant is what got to me, so that’s why I’m resolving to make the baby my only priority right now and take a rest from music, as much as I want to get this done yesterday! My mother-in-law and husband have been taking good care of me and my son so that I can rest, thank God!
I’ll share a post from David Wilkerson’s (founding pastor of Times Square Church in New York City) blog that really spoke to me in my current situation and maybe it will speak to you too:
"Stop trying to figure out how and why you got hurt. Your situation is not unique at all. Whether you were right or wrong means absolutely nothing at this point. All that matters is your willingness to move on in God and trust his mysterious workings in your life.
'…Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy' (1 Peter 4:12, 13).
Most likely you did what you had to do. You moved in the will of God, honestly following your heart, willing to give of yourself. Love was your motivation. You did not abort the will of God, someone else did. If that were not true, you would not be the one who is hurting so. You are hurt because you tried to be honest.
You can’t understand why things blew up in your face, when God seemed to be leading all along. Your heart asks, 'Why did God allow me to get into this in the first place if he knew it would never work out right?' Even Judas was called by the Lord; he was destined to be a man of God. He was handpicked by the Savior and was used of God. But Judas aborted God’s plan and broke the heart of Jesus! What started out as a plan of God ended in disaster because Judas chose to go his own way.
Lay off all your guilt trips. Stop condemning yourself. Stop trying to figure out what you did wrong. It is what you are thinking right now that really counts with God. You did not make a mistake; more than likely, you simply gave too much. Like Paul, you have to say, 'The more I loved, the less I was loved' (see 2 Corinthians 12:15)."
I can’t say I agree with this word for word, but overall, the message was really timely and encouraging. Also, some of you know I was a big fan of Danny Gokey on American Idol last season. He is a Christian and sang a lot of inspirational songs with passion, conviction, and soul during the show. He just got signed to a record label who is taking him in the direction of country music with a soulful edge, due to his excellent delivery of Rascal Flatts and Carrie Underwood songs on American Idol. This instantly made me think of a country song I wrote called “He’s Not Finished With You”, and I just wanted to tell you that I secretly (or not so secretly) wish that he could sing this song! I think it would fit perfectly with his life testimony and singing style. I just wanted to put it out there so you can pray for me and maybe give advice/tips on how one goes about doing this? I think it’s worth a shot.
God bless and thanks for keeping in touch.
Love you all!